Was it something I said?

When relationships aren't working, it can have an affect on your whole life.

I've got 5 great tips for you for maintaining good relationships.

I made a mistake this week. When my husband came home from work, I was so excited about something that had happened in the day, I couldn't wait to tell him. As soon as he walked through the door, I reeled it all off. Then the fatal words came out of my mouth "You're not listening" and then my mind went into overdrive. Well he doesn't care, doesn't think I can do this, he thinks it's not going to work. I could feel myself getting really cross. And then crosser. So I told him. To which he said I've just had a really busy day and I'm tired. 

It was at that point I realised exactly what I'd done. Made assumptions, jumped to conclusions and gone down completely the wrong path. I quickly did my best to put it right. To listen, to understand what had happened and hopefully make him feel better about it. Meditation and mindfulness allows you to see the impact of your actions and make those changes in direction, before it escalates into something much worse.

It can happen as quickly as that. Let's see what mindfulness and meditation can do to help you keep those key healthy long term relationships.

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5 tips for maintaining good relationships

  1. If you are in conflict with someone, first thing of what you perceive as their negative attributes and think to yourself 'just like me'. They won't be exactly the same but recognise those aspects in yourself. Then think of their positive attributes and again add 'just like me'. You'll start to see them differently.

  2. When you need to discuss something that's come up in your relationship, it helps by thinking of a hoped for outcome and focusing on kindness. You can practise loving kindness towards the other person saying in your mind to them. "May you be well, may you be happy and may all things go well for you" Repeating it replacing you with "I" and then "we".

  3. If you both think you are right in an argument, take a minute to think about things from the other persons perspective. Are you able to accept a different point of view and move on? Viewing the other person with unconditional love and compassion.

  4. Are you expecting other people to solve your problems or do you blame them for the current situation. Is there anything about the situation that you could resolve yourself or take responsibility for?

  5. If you are finding it difficult to express your truth, then meditate on what exactly it is that you want to say until you can completely trust what you need to say, knowing that it's what the other person needs to hear.

Practising meditation and mindfulness regularly will give you more of an openness to others and all their quirky ways. You may find that your friends and family notice that you are more relaxed, more accepting and you feel more willing to accept people exactly as they are. 

 

The amazing and very understanding Mr Still Calm!

The amazing and very understanding Mr Still Calm!

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel
— Mary Angelou